Several years ago, when a much younger Ella asked the age-old question where do babies come from, I panicked. I knew the 'right' approach was to provide a simplified but based-in-truth answer about how mommies and daddies who love each other very much do something special together in bed (usually) that makes babies. Instead, I told her that parents picked babies from stars in the sky.
This fairytale answer seemed to satisfy her curiosity and we even had a running joke when Ryan was born that we had picked her star because it was so beautiful and sparkly in the sky, and we picked Ryan's star because it was running around like crazy saying "pick me! pick me!"
Of course, I knew this cute little fairytale story I had told wouldn't last. And so to pre-empt any school yard mocking, a few months ago I proactively shared a more realistic version of how babies are made, although still without any specifics about what exactly goes where. It felt like an age-appropriate explanation, and Ella seemed satisfied, asking clarifying questions as they occurred to her over the subsequent weeks.
A few nights ago however, thanks to Ella's friend across the street (who has an older brother), we moved into more graphic territory. "Yes, sweetie, that is where the boy puts it." Surprisingly, she wasn't too fazed by the idea, although she did want to clarify that we had had to do it twice (once to make her and once to make Ryan) and we had an interesting discussion about how girls who married girls made babies.
I decided to wrap-up with some key messaging about how sex was a very special thing and that people who have sex love each other very much. As I turned off the light and kissed her goodnight I asked if she had any more questions. After a pause she turned to me and said: "What are those animals called that just eat vegetables?"
Awesome.
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